I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
