Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
