marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
