whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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