; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
