is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
