Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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