Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
