you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
