Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
