Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
