Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
