I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
