Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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