she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
