Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
