well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
