How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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