no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
