lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
