sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
