i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
