she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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