what if every blade of grass was a penis?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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