I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
