no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
