remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
