I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
