After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
