Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
