well I can't set my house on fire every night
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
