lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
