He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
