I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
