wanna go halves on a baby?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
