Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
