I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
