For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
