# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
