Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
