you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
