walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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