No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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