Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
