I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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