I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
