Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
