she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
