Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
