So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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