Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
